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☆ ashley
28 August 2010 @ 11:37 pm

We have my sister's baby shower scheduled for September 26th @ 2:00. Only problem is we don't have a place to have it. The guest list is at about 25 people, give or take, and all those people are NOT going to fit in our apartment, so our apartment is out. We decided to ask the co-manager of the apartments, who happens to be an old family friend, if we could use the community center in the Villas but she said people from the front couldn't use it but she'd check with the manager and get back to us. She never did, so that's a no go. (The Villas are little houses in the back of the apartment complex for old people, BTW.) Then I asked Ashley if maybe we could have it at her church, where her sister had her baby shower/ Sierra's first bday party, but then I realized September 26th is a Sunday so church will be going on. And sure, church gets out at 11-12 but it could run over and people linger afterward, which would interfere since we'll have to be there at least by 1 to set up and people could possibly still be there. Our fourth option and basically out last resort was to have it at a nice park, but Mom-Mom doesn't like that idea because, "what if it's cold or windy or it rains?"

So. I really don't know what to freaking do. We don't really have the money to put out to rent a hall and even if we did IDK any places we could rent out, anyway. The shower is less than a month away and we don't have anywhere to hold it and invitations haven't even been sent out! We'd like to get them out on Monday and have people RSVP by the 19th, a week before the shower. But...you know, if we can't find a place before Monday we won't be able to get the invites out until later. It's very stressful. >:|

Oh, I told my mom that living here is like living with parents who don't get along/are getting divorced/separated/whatever. I told her I'd like to go to counseling just so I can have someone to talk to. I need someone who I can rant to and express my feelings to who will offer me their opinion and advice but won't be biased or get angry or hurt about anything I say. I think counseling will do me some good. And it's not just about what's going on in the house and how NO ONE in this house is happy or can be pleased or get along. It's also about...me needing help with myself. Sometimes I feel like a big fat failure because I haven't done anything with my life. I have issues that need to be worked on, too, like feeling guilty about things I shouldn't feel guilty about and getting angry about stupid shit. So, it's not just about home/family life. It's about me, too. I'm gonna call People's Place Monday and see if I can get in there. Last time I tried counseling I went there, set up two appointments, and forget about them both so they wouldn't see me. Hopefully it's been long enough since that time that I'll be able to get back in there. If not I guess I'll have to ask my doctor for a referral or something.

And speaking of doctors, I have a consultation with a surgeon for my toe on Thursday. I'm a little nervous because foot surgery means I won't be able to drive and I'm going to have to rely on other people to do stuff for me. Like, make my plate at dinnertime. Because I'm not going to be able to walk. I'm going to hate it. But I know I need it. My podiatrist said if I'm still having pain it's worth talking to a surgeon about. So...we'll see.

Current Mood: coldcold
☆ ashley
26 August 2010 @ 04:03 am

Made two new claims at fandom365 since I finished my old ones. My old ones were The WB Shows [Buffy, Angel & Charmed] (find the icons here) & Romance Movies (icons here)! My new claims are Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Friends. :D I'm excited!

Ookay. Uhm, 30 day meme, I guess.

Day 02 – Your first love

Uhh... Well, I guess my first love was David. I've known him for literally my entire life. His mom and my mom were best friends when they were younger. I was born in June and David was born 7 months later, in January. In his baby book it says I was his first friend. :] David was my first "boyfriend," in the way that 5-year-olds are boyfriend and girlfriend. But the actuality is David and I have never been in a serious relationship. When we were old enough to actually have a real relationship we always got the timing all wrong. We did go out for a day, but...like I said, the timing was all wrong and I broke up with him. (It was at the beginning of my relationship with my ex. About a week after me and Bubba (aka AJ) got together I decided I liked David more so I broke up with Bubba and he broke up with his GF and we got together. The next day I decided I made a mistake, broke up with David and got back with Bubba. He did the same with his GF after a few days.) At some point during my relationship with AJ, when he was living with his uncle in New Jersey, I broke up with him because the distance was driving me away from him and right to David. However, David had a girlfriend and wasn't going to break up with her for me a second time. Of course, for some reason, it was during this time that I realized I actually loved David. I wanted to be with him more than anything. I thought that, in the end, we would end up together. I thought we would get married and have babies. I thought that for the longest time. And I guess he really is the first person I felt that way about. He's the first person I wanted to completely devote myself to. He's the first person I ever hurt so badly over (many nights spent crying for and because of him). Now David has an adorable daughter named Cheyanne, with another one on the way. And now I am with Gerald, who I know is my forever, because I honestly have never been in a better relationship or had a better boyfriend than him. Even though Gerald is not my first love he makes me feel like I've never felt before and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

☆ ashley
18 July 2010 @ 07:20 pm

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☆ ashley
29 December 2008 @ 06:08 pm
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